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<title>I'm afraid that you'll become just another ex by not_a_total_basket_case</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23492488">I'm afraid that you'll become just another ex</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_a_total_basket_case/pseuds/not_a_total_basket_case'>not_a_total_basket_case</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Song fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:34:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23492488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_a_total_basket_case/pseuds/not_a_total_basket_case</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy tries to set Murphy up on a blind date after his breakup with Emori.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emori/John Murphy (The 100)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm afraid that you'll become just another ex</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was just clearing out some files on my computer and I was sure I'd posted it before, but I can't find. So here is some memori fluff based on the song Ex by James TW.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Just give it a shot,” Bellamy insists. Murphy hasn’t really hung out with any of his friends in a few months. He’d exiled himself as a shitty coping mechanism and avoided them. He’s beginning to think accepting their invitations to spend time together again was a bad idea. He cannot be bothered with this.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Why not?” Bellamy asks, passing another beer over the counter. Murphy hasn’t paid for one all night and he’s sure that it’s because Bellamy is trying to get him to say yes. It’s not as though getting him drunk is going to make him agree though. He’s not declining the offer because he’s sober, he’s denying the offer because of… well because of Emori. But he’s not going to tell Bellamy that.</p><p>“I don’t want to go on a blind date,” Murphy grumbles, accepting the beer anyway and draining half of it in his first mouthful.</p><p>“She might be the perfect girl for you,” Bellamy insists, ignoring a customer that had just walked in to stare at Murphy.</p><p>“She might not be,” Murphy retaliates. She won’t be. He already let the perfect girl for him slip through his fingers.</p><p>He and Emori had been a long time coming in everyone’s opinions but his. They had been friends for a while and he had a small crush on her from the moment they met. What he hadn’t expected was for her to feel the same way. He hadn’t expected it to go as well as it did. She fit in flawlessly with his friends, becoming part of the family. And he got jealous and he lashed out and he pushed her away. And she broke up with him.</p><p>This was six months ago and he deserved it, but he misses her so much. Not only as a girlfriend, but as his friend. He’d take it all back to just be her friend again. Which is why he can’t go on a blind date with anyone. He’s afraid that he might actually like them, that he might fall for them. And if he does, all Emori will be is another ex. Someone that he rarely thinks of and doesn’t miss. He doesn’t want that. Emori is too important to him.</p><p>“Why is he getting free beer?” Raven asks, dropping onto the stool beside him. “You just made me pay.”</p><p>“You’re not moping,” Bellamy teases, but puts a bowl of pretzels between them. “You have lover boy over there.”</p><p>“I’m not moping,” Murphy grumbles, glancing over his shoulder to see Zeke sitting with Harper and Monty. He sighs, not too long ago that had been Emori’s spot. He likes Zeke, he’s just upset Emori isn’t there.</p><p>He knows she still hangs out with his friends and that makes it even harder. She doesn’t want to be here tonight because he’s here.</p><p>“You’re definitely moping,” Raven decides, after looking him up and down. “I’ll buy the next round, Blake. Someone has to pay your wage.”</p><p>“Really appreciate it, Reyes,” Bellamy says, rolling his eyes. “Now help me talk him into this.”</p><p>“Into what?” Raven asks, her eyes twinkling with mischief.</p><p>*</p><p>Because Bellamy is a pushy bastard and Raven is constantly sending him bullet-pointed notes and Murphy can’t handle the nagging anymore, he finally agrees to go on the stupid blind date. He’s pretty sure at this point that if he doesn’t go, it’s just going to get back to Emori and she can see how pathetic he’s being.</p><p>The girl in question, however, is Bellamy’s ex-fling, Roma. Murphy remembers her and he honestly has no idea why Bellamy thinks setting them up is a good idea. He would have fought this blind date thing a lot harder if he knew who it was. But at least there is no chance he’s going to fall for her. And it’ll get them all off his back.</p><p>Murphy and Roma had met briefly at the beginning of his friendship with Bellamy and had not gotten on. She hadn’t appreciated his snarky humour and only tolerated him while she was with Bellamy. He already knows this is going to be a disaster. He can’t wait for it to be over.</p><p>He meets Roma at the restaurant Bellamy had organised and groans. Bellamy is usually annoyingly considerate, how had he forgotten that Murphy doesn’t like Thai food?</p><p>“Ugh,” Murphy says awkwardly when he reaches her. He doesn’t know whether to hug her or shake her hand, so he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey,” she says, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder. She looks nice, he can admit that, but way overdressed for the restaurant and it has him wondering if he should have put more effort into his appearance before leaving. But Bellamy had said it was going to be casual.</p><p>“So, let’s do this?” Murphy asks, holding open the door and following her inside. The restaurant is dimly lit and there is a family in the corner with three high chairs and it’s definitely not the place he would choose for a first date.</p><p>He thinking of his first date with Emori when they were already friends. They’d had a picnic in the park between their apartments and laughed made up stories for the people around them. They’d spent the time laughing, holding hands and stealing glances at each other. It’s one of his favourite memories with her. He’s so lost in thought about it, that he misses what Roma says.</p><p>“Sorry, what was that?” He asks, shaking his head to remind himself who he is with. And why. Because he messed up his chance with Emori.</p><p>“I said,” Roma begins again, sounding unimpressed, “Do you want to get a few dishes to share.”</p><p>“Sure,” he shrugs. “Whatever.” He knows Roma is going to consider this one of the worst dates in her life as well. And it’s his fault really, but he’s so distracted by Emori. He’s being an arsehole.</p><p>When their waiter comes back for their drinks orders, Murphy asks a vodka cranberry without thinking and then freezes. It’s Emori’s drink of choice and he is not willing the admit that slip-up. So he ignores Roma’s raised eyebrows as she orders for herself. He can drink vodka cranberry if he so pleases.</p><p>They order their food and he tries to put a little more effort into their small talk. He asks about her work and does his best not to screw his nose up when she says she’s a model. He has nothing against models, he just knows that she works at the restaurant across from Bellamy’s work and uses a lot of Instagram. Which again, he has no problem with. He’d just like it if she were more honest. They talk about his schooling, not that she’s really interested.</p><p>Their food comes out and they both busy themselves eating, ignoring the other. Roma checks her phone and Murphy busies himself moving the food on his plate around. He wonders if the other people in the room can tell how awkward the date is.</p><p>“Did you want to get dessert?” Murphy asks, mostly just to be polite. He’s sure she wants to leave as much as he does.</p><p>“No,” Roma shakes her head. “Just the bill?”</p><p>“Sure,” he agrees. He pays for it because he feels bad she had to endure such an awful date, even though it’s entirely Bellamy’s fault.</p><p>They say goodbye outside the restaurant, Murphy purposefully walking away from the train station that will take him home. He doesn’t really want to walk with her. It’s nothing to do with her, it was just a terrible idea to agree to come on a date. Especially when he knew that it was never going to work. He is too hung up on Emori.</p><p>Bellamy and Raven were just trying to help, introducing him to someone else. But even if it wasn’t Roma, he’s too scared it will work. He isn’t ready to want someone else. He isn’t ready to forget what it’s like to be with Emori. To spend weekends on her couch, binge-watching lame TV. To lay in bed until they absolutely have to get up and then to wrap his arms around her and not let her go for just a minute longer. To hear their song playing at the bar. To go to her apartment after a particularly gruelling day at work.</p><p>Which is where he realises his feet have taken him. A route he’s walked so many times that he’s not even surprised that it’s where he has ended up. He’s standing at the door of her apartment complex.</p><p>He has to fix this. Or at least try. He’s the one that messed it up in the first place. He doesn’t want to go on other dates. He just wants her. He holds the buzzer for her apartment down and waits.</p><p>“Yeah?” Her voice is crackly over the intercom, but it’s unmistakably her.</p><p>“It’s me,” he says, knowing that she might not want to see him. “Buzz me in?”</p><p>She doesn’t answer and Murphy panics for a second, but then the door opens. She let him in.</p><p>Her apartment is on the second floor and Murphy wishes it was higher, so he could have a little longer to think about what to say to her. He’d fucked up. He knows that. And he needs to make sure she knows that. Even if nothing comes from it, he wants to apologise.</p><p>She’s already standing in the doorway when he rounds the corner and he can’t help the relief at seeing her. Even if she looks pissed at him. The last time he had seen her, she’d been walking away and he hadn’t called her back. And he’d regretted it ever since.</p><p>“What do you want, John?” She doesn’t sound as angry as she looks, just tired. It makes him think that she’s putting on a lot of the anger as a defence. She’d told him that is what she used to do before they found each other. It breaks his heart even more that she’s doing it to him now. But he knows that he deserves it.  </p><p>“I just wanted to,” he pauses. How does he explain what he wants to say to her? He’s waited so long, it’s probably too late. “I went on a date tonight.”</p><p>“Good for you?” Emori says, rolling her eyes. “Did you come here to gloat?”</p><p>“No,” Murphy shakes his head. This already isn’t going to plan. “It was horrible.”</p><p>“Again, why are you here?” Emori asks.</p><p>“Can I come in?” Murphy asks. Emori sighs, but steps aside to let him. It’s more than he hoped for.</p><p>“Do you want a drink?” She asks. Murphy nods and watches as she busies herself making coffees. The drink she hands him is exactly the way he makes his coffee and a spark of hope flares in his chest that she remembers. She has to care a little bit.</p><p>“My date was crappy because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I didn’t even think about walking here. It’s just where I ended up,” he tells her. She’s hoisted herself onto the counter opposite him. She’s wearing flannel pyjama pants and a tank top and he’s honestly never seen anything more beautiful. There has to be a way he can fix this. “I ordered a vodka cranberry because I was thinking about you. I had to drink it myself.”</p><p>“You can’t stop thinking about me?” She deadpans, her face betraying no emotion. He doesn’t let it get to him though. He’s still going to tell her everything.</p><p>“I miss you, Emori,” he says, he wants to reach for her but knows now isn’t the right time. Especially not until he knows how she feels. “I fucked up. I really fucked up.”</p><p>“You did,” she agrees. “You broke my heart.”</p><p>“I was jealous,” Murphy says. He’s never told her that before. He’s never told anyone that before. Admitting the reason that he let her walk away was because he was being selfish is hard. “I didn’t think you needed me and I was so jealous. I know it doesn’t excuse the way I treated you but I need you to know.”</p><p>“What were you even jealous of?” Emori asks. She sounds frustrated and he doesn’t blame her. He was such an <em>idiot </em>.</p><p>“When we started dating,” Murphy begins, scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck as he thinks of how to explain it. “When we first started dating, we were all each other needed. I didn’t care about anyone but you and we only had each other. And then when we got closer to the others I was just so jealous and I was so stupid. I didn’t think you needed me.”</p><p>“You know that’s not true,” she groans. “I have a family for the first time in my life. It doesn’t mean I didn’t need you.” Did not need him, not do not. Of course, she doesn’t need him now.</p><p>“I know that now,” he admits. “They’ve told me that. I was being stupid.” He might not have ever said it aloud, but Raven had told him how wrong he was. She’d guessed the reason Emori broke up with him - or maybe Emori told her - and had confronted him in the weeks later when he exiled himself and wouldn’t speak to anyone. He realised then how wrong he was but he had thought it was too late. He’d kick himself if he could back in time.</p><p>“I was so upset with you,” Emori tells him, “but even more so when the others told me what you were doing. I was - everyone was so worried about you.”</p><p>“I was being an idiot,” he says. “I was mad that I let you go and I blamed everyone else. But I know it was my fault now.”</p><p>“It was. You pushed me away.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I’d take it all back if I could.” And he would. Losing her is the biggest mistake he’s ever made. And he’s made a lot of mistakes in his life.</p><p>It’s quiet for a moment and then Emori whispers, “I miss you too, John.”</p><p>This time he does reach for her, offering her his hand across the kitchen. She hops off the counter and steps towards him, lacing their fingers together. Murphy doesn’t dare let himself hope but even this soft moment in her kitchen was more than he expected.</p><p>“I have a family,” Emori tells him, stepping closer so their hands are still linked together but hanging loosely by their sides. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t need you.”</p><p>“Are you saying…” Murphy trails off, he doesn’t know how to ask what he wants to know. He doesn’t want to assume. Even as they’re standing in her apartment, holding hands.</p><p>“I want to try again,” she says, a small smile on her face. “But it can’t be like it was before.”</p><p>“It won’t be,” Murphy promises, the hope he was trying to keep at bay blooming in his chest. “I won’t let.”</p><p>“Then we try again,” Emori says, the smile on her face growing. Murphy leans down, so his forehead is pressed against hers. He’s about to kiss her when his phone chimes. And then again, and again and again.</p><p>“Fuck,” he mutters, reaching in to change it to silent.</p><p>“Is it the group?” She asks him. They created new chats when they’d broken up and he missed seeing her name amongst the mindless messages from his - their - friends.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says.</p><p>“Read them?”</p><p>He scoops his phone from his pocket with his free hand and unlocks it, tilting the screen so she can see the messages.</p><p><b>Blake</b><b><br/>
</b>Roma said the date sucked. Where are you?</p><p><b>Reyes</b><b><br/>
</b>Not at his apartment. I’ve been on the couch since 8 waiting.</p><p><b>Echo</b><b><br/>
</b>Not at the bar either…</p><p><b>Blake</b><b><br/>
</b>Do you think it worked?</p><p><b>Harper</b><b><br/>
</b>I lowkey hope it did. But I don’t actually have any money to pay the bet.</p><p><b>Reyes</b><b><br/>
</b>I’ll send my bookie after you.</p><p>Murphy frowns at his phone. The stream of messages that are still coming through confusing him. What the hell are they betting on?</p><p>“Oh man,” Emori sighs, reaching for her own phone. She sighs again and then turns the screen so he can read the message.</p><p><b>Raven &lt;3</b><b><br/>
</b>Is Murphy with you?</p><p>“They set me up on a bad date on purpose,” he groans when he realises what happened. The more he thinks about it, the more he realises that there is no way Bellamy would really set him up with Roma. “They were betting on me coming here.”</p><p>“Good to see you’re so predictable,” Emori grins, taking his phone from his hand and placing it beside her own on the counter. “Now let’s leave them hanging.”</p><p>They don’t reply to their friends until morning. And all Emori does is send them a photo off Murphy’s jacket hanging on the back of her dining chair and about fifteen middle finger emojis. But then she adds Murphy to their group chat and it’s all worth it. The bad date, the teasing from their friends. And best of all. He has her back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="http://raven-reyes-of-sunshine.tumblr.com/">My tumblr is here!</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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